The secure dilemma of an unsecure mind

Caution of Note: Don't try to understand the post below, as the chances are you won't be able to get anything.

The last post was written in a zest. It only captured my feelings, my malevolent wishes, the fragments of my insane mind, the uncooked thought…

I always had those thoughts at the back of my mind. Always the thoughts running in my mind, always imagining scenes, scenes running through my mind, as if I was actually living them. It was all very scary, but what was scarier was, I always felt relieved after each such session of scene play. The picture would concern, how the life will turn out, if my malevolent wishes come to reality. Still, never before I tried to give it a existence in the real world. Then as I wrote my thoughts on a piece of paper and then actually gave them existence in the form of blog, guilt started trapping me.

In the sake of self-exploration, I still continued. Each passing word, more difficult to form, more difficult to type… Thoughts more enmeshed in the complications, I am not able to figure out. Words running like crazy stallion, thoughts that are not making any sense at all. Still, this is the only path I think will ease me up, assuage me of my complexities, give me some perspective of the life that lies ahead.

Calmness, serenity is what I am looking for; so that I can think of reasons, think of logic. And logic, a strange vice, is somehow eluding me. I want to think of a reason or reasons, for the desires I have inside me. Cravings that were always there, but now I am not sure, why I want that.

Just to search reasons, for such straightforward feeling is proving to be a lot trickier than I anticipated. I can’t shrug of the guilt, and somewhere I have convinced myself that I am not wrong at all. Struggle, is what I have to deal with right now.

So, I leave the introspection part to some other time.

Incredible India- The city of temples, Ujjain

North of Indore lies, city of temples- Ujjain

I must admit that both my visit to the place has been unwillingly. Once with my parents and the other time with my relatives. The problem with my parents and most of my relatives is that their idea of a perfect holiday or a trip is to go to some religious place. Even in Goa they will search some temple and spend the time there.

It is not that I am anti-religious. I just don’t identify with their idea of religion. For me, there is God and here is me and there is no one in between, especially not the Brahmans and the Pundits. Religion is a part of life for me and not some set rules of processes and procedures.

Ujjain: A scene of the marketplace

So here I was, AGAIN! The thought of a religious place puts me off. I can’t stand those hypocrites Pandas and Pundits at these places. I really can’t fathom how can they really be at peace with themselves after how they hackle and con people coming there. On second thought, it is not their fault and every person who gets into their trap deserves it, including my parents and relatives.

Now, enough about those B*******d Pundits! Actually talking about those morons has really angered me and I have lost the thought of what I was supposed to write at first place and the rationale behind this post.

Okay, back to main post. It is no surprise that it is called the city of temples, as according to localites there are nearly 116 temples in the city, including the Mahakaleshwar Jyotirlinga temple. The temple is one of the twelve Jyotirlinga temples of Lord Shiva and second in Madhya Pradesh, apart from the Omkareshwar temple. The city has its root dating back to Mahabharat, and is considered as one of the holiest place by Hindus. I guess it forms a part of the Sapta Puri, or seven sacred cities

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The Temple

By that standard I find the city really neat and clean. Maybe hosting a Mahakumbh every twelve years has its own advantages. As I have spent four years in Varanasi, so my idea of a religious place is benchmarked against that.

Reaching Ujjain is really convenient. The nearest airport is in Indore city. Indore has flights from both New Delhi and Mumbai. So one can arrive in the morning by flight, take a cab to Ujjain. The Intercity from New Delhi to Indore passes via Ujjain. So alternatively one can take the train and get down at Ujjain. The first time I followed the train route and the second time, the flight-cab route.

The city has got some descent facility for accommodation in the form of dharamshallas and hotels. Most of the accommodations are near the main temple. The definition of sightseeing in the city is the Main Temple, then some other temples, then some more temples and then some more. I guess you got the point.

Shopping consists of some Prasad, some statue and stuff like that.

A click on my mobile at 4:00 in the morning

One really interesting thing is the ticket system for the Bhasma-Aarti. You have to get a ticket. To get the ticket one needs to fill a form, provide a photocopy of personal Identification proof. Then go in the evening collect the form. Get up the next morning at around 2 or 3 in the morning, stand I a queue and be there inside the temple at 4 in the morning to see the Bhasma-Aarti. Sounds too tough, well I have done it twice, or shall I say, endured it twice. Still God is not listening to me. I don’t know what I need to do. :)

Breaking News: Liquidity and Volatility arrested on charges of Contraction' murder

Special Correspondent, Tarun Goyal

DALAL STREET, FINANCE CAPITAL: In a sensational revelation Liquidity has been help responsible for the murder of Contraction, as a result generating an environment of 'total spread'. Preliminary investigation shows that Liquidity was unhappy with the way Mr. Capital Market was acting on behalf of Mr. Foreign Exchange. To stop these two and avenge for its beloved High Money's rape Liquidity attacked Contraction. 

File Photo: High Money

It is known that Contraction was a business partner of Capital Market and Foreign Exchange. More important is the fact that Contraction was the prime accused in the case involving High Money's rape. Only last week he was released on an interim bail pending the hearing of his appeal. Till further reports come Volatility has also been taken into custody as a partner-in-crime with Liquidity. 

"We are monitoring the situation closely", said Leverage, the public prosecutor for the case. He is also the attorney general in the famous case involving Risk & Growth.

Some report term that the whole chaos is because of the promiscuous nature of High Money. Although no one is ready to quote anything but on conditions of anonymity some said that High Money has illicit relationship with both Capital Market and Foreign Exchange. It was only when Contraction tried to molest High Money in a party thrown by Capital Market that the situation got out of hand.

Right now no one is sure where is High Money. She is an important witness in both the cases, involving her rape and the murder of Contraction. Pranab Da, on condition of anonymity has said that Sardar has abducted High Money and is holding her captive in his private mansion situated at Mint Road. 

Chika(centre) trying to reason with Pranab Da(right), who has accused Sardar of abducting High Money as Sardar(left) looks on

Until further notice the general public has to do without the sensuality of High Money and pray for Liquidity's release.