The secure dilemma of an unsecure mind

Caution of Note: Don't try to understand the post below, as the chances are you won't be able to get anything.

The last post was written in a zest. It only captured my feelings, my malevolent wishes, the fragments of my insane mind, the uncooked thought…

I always had those thoughts at the back of my mind. Always the thoughts running in my mind, always imagining scenes, scenes running through my mind, as if I was actually living them. It was all very scary, but what was scarier was, I always felt relieved after each such session of scene play. The picture would concern, how the life will turn out, if my malevolent wishes come to reality. Still, never before I tried to give it a existence in the real world. Then as I wrote my thoughts on a piece of paper and then actually gave them existence in the form of blog, guilt started trapping me.

In the sake of self-exploration, I still continued. Each passing word, more difficult to form, more difficult to type… Thoughts more enmeshed in the complications, I am not able to figure out. Words running like crazy stallion, thoughts that are not making any sense at all. Still, this is the only path I think will ease me up, assuage me of my complexities, give me some perspective of the life that lies ahead.

Calmness, serenity is what I am looking for; so that I can think of reasons, think of logic. And logic, a strange vice, is somehow eluding me. I want to think of a reason or reasons, for the desires I have inside me. Cravings that were always there, but now I am not sure, why I want that.

Just to search reasons, for such straightforward feeling is proving to be a lot trickier than I anticipated. I can’t shrug of the guilt, and somewhere I have convinced myself that I am not wrong at all. Struggle, is what I have to deal with right now.

So, I leave the introspection part to some other time.

Incredible India- The city of temples, Ujjain

North of Indore lies, city of temples- Ujjain

I must admit that both my visit to the place has been unwillingly. Once with my parents and the other time with my relatives. The problem with my parents and most of my relatives is that their idea of a perfect holiday or a trip is to go to some religious place. Even in Goa they will search some temple and spend the time there.

It is not that I am anti-religious. I just don’t identify with their idea of religion. For me, there is God and here is me and there is no one in between, especially not the Brahmans and the Pundits. Religion is a part of life for me and not some set rules of processes and procedures.

Ujjain: A scene of the marketplace

So here I was, AGAIN! The thought of a religious place puts me off. I can’t stand those hypocrites Pandas and Pundits at these places. I really can’t fathom how can they really be at peace with themselves after how they hackle and con people coming there. On second thought, it is not their fault and every person who gets into their trap deserves it, including my parents and relatives.

Now, enough about those B*******d Pundits! Actually talking about those morons has really angered me and I have lost the thought of what I was supposed to write at first place and the rationale behind this post.

Okay, back to main post. It is no surprise that it is called the city of temples, as according to localites there are nearly 116 temples in the city, including the Mahakaleshwar Jyotirlinga temple. The temple is one of the twelve Jyotirlinga temples of Lord Shiva and second in Madhya Pradesh, apart from the Omkareshwar temple. The city has its root dating back to Mahabharat, and is considered as one of the holiest place by Hindus. I guess it forms a part of the Sapta Puri, or seven sacred cities

.

The Temple

By that standard I find the city really neat and clean. Maybe hosting a Mahakumbh every twelve years has its own advantages. As I have spent four years in Varanasi, so my idea of a religious place is benchmarked against that.

Reaching Ujjain is really convenient. The nearest airport is in Indore city. Indore has flights from both New Delhi and Mumbai. So one can arrive in the morning by flight, take a cab to Ujjain. The Intercity from New Delhi to Indore passes via Ujjain. So alternatively one can take the train and get down at Ujjain. The first time I followed the train route and the second time, the flight-cab route.

The city has got some descent facility for accommodation in the form of dharamshallas and hotels. Most of the accommodations are near the main temple. The definition of sightseeing in the city is the Main Temple, then some other temples, then some more temples and then some more. I guess you got the point.

Shopping consists of some Prasad, some statue and stuff like that.

A click on my mobile at 4:00 in the morning

One really interesting thing is the ticket system for the Bhasma-Aarti. You have to get a ticket. To get the ticket one needs to fill a form, provide a photocopy of personal Identification proof. Then go in the evening collect the form. Get up the next morning at around 2 or 3 in the morning, stand I a queue and be there inside the temple at 4 in the morning to see the Bhasma-Aarti. Sounds too tough, well I have done it twice, or shall I say, endured it twice. Still God is not listening to me. I don’t know what I need to do. :)

Breaking News: Liquidity and Volatility arrested on charges of Contraction' murder

Special Correspondent, Tarun Goyal

DALAL STREET, FINANCE CAPITAL: In a sensational revelation Liquidity has been help responsible for the murder of Contraction, as a result generating an environment of 'total spread'. Preliminary investigation shows that Liquidity was unhappy with the way Mr. Capital Market was acting on behalf of Mr. Foreign Exchange. To stop these two and avenge for its beloved High Money's rape Liquidity attacked Contraction. 

File Photo: High Money

It is known that Contraction was a business partner of Capital Market and Foreign Exchange. More important is the fact that Contraction was the prime accused in the case involving High Money's rape. Only last week he was released on an interim bail pending the hearing of his appeal. Till further reports come Volatility has also been taken into custody as a partner-in-crime with Liquidity. 

"We are monitoring the situation closely", said Leverage, the public prosecutor for the case. He is also the attorney general in the famous case involving Risk & Growth.

Some report term that the whole chaos is because of the promiscuous nature of High Money. Although no one is ready to quote anything but on conditions of anonymity some said that High Money has illicit relationship with both Capital Market and Foreign Exchange. It was only when Contraction tried to molest High Money in a party thrown by Capital Market that the situation got out of hand.

Right now no one is sure where is High Money. She is an important witness in both the cases, involving her rape and the murder of Contraction. Pranab Da, on condition of anonymity has said that Sardar has abducted High Money and is holding her captive in his private mansion situated at Mint Road. 

Chika(centre) trying to reason with Pranab Da(right), who has accused Sardar of abducting High Money as Sardar(left) looks on

Until further notice the general public has to do without the sensuality of High Money and pray for Liquidity's release. 

My love hate relationship

I was in the middle of writing a perfectly normal post, and there I spot her again.

Oh man! Come on!

Just a few days back I drove her out of my room. How shameless can she be? Can’t she notice, that I don’t like her? In addition to that, there is nothing in my 'perfectly clean' room for her.

Then I realized I not only ‘don’t like’ her, I am also afraid of her.

Yes, I admit, the fearless Tarun Goyal is afraid of lizard and for that matter, I am afraid of anything and everything that creeps. I just can’t stand them. And to add to my woe, none of my friends share my emotions. Just plain emotionless bastards!

They are perfectly okay about sharing their rooms with some complete stranger. They don’t mind if she is just crawling on the wall of their room or creeping on their floor. Not me, though! I tried to do this a lot of times, acting all cool, as if I don’t care, if it is in my room or not. But the longest I was able to do so was for 30 seconds.

So this time also I have to drive her out.

By now, I have more or less perfected the art of driving a lizard out of my room. The path was never easy, it was full of obstacles, and I learnt a lot by committing mistakes. With my lizard-repellant art, I went on to drive her out. Again!

After my inevitable victory, I thought this is becoming too much of a regular affair. So I turned to the great Google to help me out. Googled: “How to keep lizards out?”

I got nothing substantial. Too rub salt on my wounds, every search result will start with "most of the women are afraid of...". Come on you sexist pigs. Men are not always supposed to be brave. I also have the right to be afraid. I only got this little piece of crap. I have no idea whether it works or not. I don’t care, because I am not going to try it.

So I don’t know how to keep lizard out. What I do know is how to effectively drive lizard out of your room, once it gets in.

1. Keep a long stick/broom/pole handy with you. For me, it is always the curtain bar.
2. Close every almirah doors, drawers, dustbin covers and any other such things. I learned this lesson, a very hard way. It is a very tragic story, but some other day.
3. Identify the current location of your target.
4. Open all the windows and doors of your room. It might backfire sometimes though, because as you drive this creepy character from one exit, another one can take entry from the other side. But “risk to spiderman ko bhi lena padta hai, fir tum to ‘whatever’ ho”
5. Based on the current location of the target, identify an exit option for your unwanted guest.
6. Using your weapon (curtain bar in my case), tap on the opposite side, to where you want the guest to go. It means the guest should always be between, the door and the pole. As it will not like to run towards the pole, so it will run towards the door.
7. As soon as she goes out of the door, shut the door quickly. Shut all windows, and take a deep breathe, relax, you are safe now. Nothing can happen to you.

Some words of caution:

1. Always try to position yourself on an elevated place, like your bed, or table or chair. You never know the creep might want to take a stroll on the floor.
2. Always maintain a distance of minimum of one meter. Otherwise, in case, if it jumps towards your side, you might die of heart attack. I was almost on the verge on one, and now I am more cautious.

Even after all these, she manages to get hold of you, God be with you. ☹
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It ends here-Volume II

For part one of the series click here.

As they set on their journey, people who came to know about the plan were very supportive, never missing an opportunity to deride the effort. Among the horde, one particular S needs special mention. He has made his mission to quantify everything in life. If the quantification can be in monetary terms all the more good. The point he misses is that something is done, without any logic being attached to it, without any rational and without any tangible benefits. These things exist because they differentiate humans from God’s other creation. Any effort to quantify these things will be like a blasphemy against your God.

For the pics click here.


With a print out of Google map, a knife and other basic stuffs with them, they set foot on their journey. Never knowing what lies ahead, the eccentrics in any case did not care. The path, a treacherous one and the rain on previous night not helping, only toughened their resolve. The destination was always on their sight, working like a chimera, always so close but nowhere in reach. After three long hours they reached a large tree, which they made as their base camp and rested for some time. But rest was only an illusion as the objective still lie ahead of them, in sight but not in reach.

And away they went again towards their objective, after a brief pause and determination on mind. Another half hour and they were at the foot of their beloved- THE TABLETOP.

Then it occurred to Shanta that he has never done something so remarkable in life, all the academic achievements apart. His heart, filled with a sense of accomplishment, he was content. But they were at the foot of the mountain only and there was no way Bhanu and Doru were going to give up so easily and neither were they going to allow Shanta to do so. With total grit and some motivation they finally reached the top, five hours after they started on their journey.



What seemed like an outline from campus was a reality now and the reality- the campus has turned into a mere dot for these three. The reverse reality was now a reason for celebration for them, a moment of festivity for them. Now they will be able to be at peace with themselves, now they will achieve tranquility, but a breather is not what they will get right now. Now is the time to reflect back at their journey, a journey where they crossed farms, where they were knee deep in mud, a journey where they met Babloo- a local shepherd. It is the journey where they dared the incessant rain, where they were not ready to give up in the face of all adversity.

It will be the journey that will be etched in the mind of these three, but lost in the pages of history, never repeated again, never ever thought of again. And it will be here, when they will have a mountain top named after them, where people will come to know this tabletop as Mt. VAT.

It all begins- Volume I

“They went, they tried, they nearly failed, AND then they finally conquered.”



They seem really normal, in fact invisible to most people around them. In the world of FB, when every petty achievement becomes a champion of ‘likes’ and ‘comments’, they achieved great heights and still managed to remain low-key.

The overwhelming beauty of the campus was something that Bhanu first noticed when he was settled in his room. But something else was enticing him towards itself. On enquiry he found out that there is no way to reach there. Disheartened he resigned the idea of reaching there. Only the truth that lied ahead in the chest of future was a little different.

Doru has always been a dark horse, away from the hordes of sheep around him. “Out of the box thinking” has been an effort in constant pain for most, but for Doru it has been a way of life. It was only destiny that he and Bhanu will become part of THE TRIO.

The third cog of the wheel Shanta has been an enigma. It was never possible for anyone to gauge his emotions. His face reveals as many emotions as a plate glass window. It was never possible for anyone to tell when an idea excites him and when he is not interested. When he agreed with his trademark indifference to be a part of THE PLAN, he completed the picture. No pre-conditions dictated and no questions asked just plain nod in agreement, such was his nature.

“THE PLAN”, it was. It wills to fulfill a long forgotten dream of Bhanu. None has done it, no one has ever tried it; so no one really failed at it; forget about someone ever thinking about it.

When it was mentioned, “ The overwhelming beauty of the campus was something that Bhanu first noticed …”, the statement was not entirely true.

No doubts that the beauty of the campus was mesmerizing but that was not what capture the attention of Bhanu. It was the outline of a tabletop mountain at the far south of the campus that really excited Bhanu. “There is no medium to reach there”, was the terse reply from Gopi, the housekeeping staff.



The dream was long forgotten, until one-day during a trip to Mandu, Bhanu ignited the idea of covering the whole distance on foot. Exciting and at the same time daring and more importantly totally unconventional, was the first thought that crossed Doru's mind. The next moment he was nodding his head in agreement, and a day before the D-day Shanta joined the plan.

For the next part click here.
For the pics click here...

The villain in my perfect story is Gaur

It all started with my journey to Kolkata. I had a flight from Kolkata to Bangalore. I had planned this travel, weeks in advance. Alas! Only if I knew that everyone in Kolkata will betray me.

They were six of them; Mandeep, Barood, Gaur, Bihari, Jaipuri and Kholu. It has been really long, since I met any of them. I had my summer intern in Bangalore, before that a full week to spend at home. I sacrificed two days out of it, so that I can meet some of them. But as fate would have it, everyone got transferred on dates just before I was supposed to reach Kolkata; all of them except Barood and Kholu.

It really annoyed me, but at least I was about to meet some of them. The first night was spent, with Bhaiya, Kholu, Kingfisher, Barood and me. Next morning I got to know that Sharma is also in Kolkata when he called up Barood. The day passed, and then Sharma informed that Neta is also in Kolkata. All of a sudden we frantically started calling him, but no luck.

Finally I was able to connect with Neta in the evening, only to know that he is still in Pune. Typical Neta event, I reasoned with myself.

Next morning, with hangover due to sleeplessness and beer, I boarded the flight for Bangalore. The first thing I did was to check for the sickness bag. It was there. Relieved I went to deep sleep. Only then, I had no idea what was in store for me in the next two months, or shall I say how many BHU junta were in store for me.

There is a verb called Bangalored and I guess my friend play some part in getting that verb coined. It started unfolding; met lots of them; and it was nice. Then I remembered that Gaur is in Hyderabad and Ankit is in Chennai. For geographically handicapped people, both these cities are just around 6 hours distance from Bangalore. Not a great distance in Indian terms, when you consider that we are used to waiting longer than that for our trains to arrive.

So I planned along with Ankit that he should come one weekend and than we can have a bang, refresh some IT-BHU memories. Only then, I had no idea that there was a certain creature named Gaur to ruin all these. Now to discuss Gaur will take another individual post of mine, so I will quickly skip that part and tell the incident.

Since both of us are from Civil (that is our branch of engineering and in no way represent our true characteristics), so we decided to include Gaur (another Civilian) in that plan. Only if we had realized at that point of time, how bad an idea it is. In any case it unfolded in the subsequent weekends. Gaur kept on postponing the plans to visit from one weekend to another and as Gaur would have it, neither he nor Ankit could make it to Bangalore. Why this is so important would be clear in a short while.

In between I met some of my school friends (three to be exact), who were also in Bangalore. Met them after nearly 5 years!

As the Bangalore carnival was nearing its end, I started planning back to Indore. Only I had different plans in mind. So, I remembered that Mangal and Bihari are in Mumbai and hence I booked the air tickets to Mumbai and planned to take a bus to Indore from there onward. Again never trust a Bihari, at least in my case.

Because, guess what, Bihari planned his small trip to Pune, the same weekend I was to arrive at Mumbai. It was only due to my geniuses, that I was able to turn this small little hurdle into a source of more fun. So I reached Mumbai, and from there the three of us (Mangal, Bihari and me) went to Pune.

Now we will take a pause for a moment, and clarify, yes I actually covered four cities in two days. By the way, they paid the fair to Pune, guess they were at fault. Still, somehow I could not extract a party out of them. (They both had switched their job).

Again Pune! Its kind of getting repetitive and boring but I need to repeat it one more time, I again met, another bunch of old friends. Guess the trip was worth it. By the way, I missed to tell you the best part, one that I am going to repeat many times over. I extracted a grand party out of Jaipuri. Those who know Jaipuri will admit it is hell lot of achievement. When I say, grand, it was grand. In fact Jaipuri was ready to sponsor my trip to HRC, only unfortunately some idiotic band was performing that day and hence we vetoed against entering HRC and went to a cool Dhaba styled restaurant.

That is a lot about a dinner and beer party- sponsored by Irshad Bhai. Time to wrap up the whole two months.

So, here I go; met with (not in any particular order) Barood, Sharma, Gangal, Irshad Bhai, Mangal, Bihari, Moti, Chuchu, Darda, Chanduka, JD, Mooch, Tyson, Amma… I am losing the count, so I will limit myself. Not met Ankit- courtesy Amma Gaur Mia… and I guess that makes it clear that in my perfect internship Gaur was a missing link, and hence the real villain.

P.S. I might sound melodramatic and over the board sometimes, but that is the whole purpose, I guess…:D

MY summer experience: 2010

So I have a friend posted in the hip-hop Gurgaon as part of his summer internship. 

But, he is not happy in Gurgaon!! 

What are you saying dude! 

Arey boss! Because he is from a scary-land called Chennai

So coming to my friend, his condition reminds me of the gospel which the lord himself bestowed to his favorite follower. I will not name the follower or the lord to avoid controversy, but here goes the saying.

Long since our brothers and sisters have suffered in the hands of the auto-drivers and uthapam makers, in a hostile terrain, down South in the peninsular land of India. Now it is our turn.

Thou shall strike, thou shall take vengeance! It’s the time for revenge!

Hence, with retribution in mind, the almighty decided that since it is not ideal to change the people, let the force of climate be unleashed. And so it was. The NCR yet again witnessed the highest average temperature for the past XYZee years. Temperature so high, that even a person used of living in a boiler-land (my friend in this case) genuflected in front of its might.

On the other end, suddenly the whiteness index of Chennai saw a sudden jump.

It is not because of my Chennai wala friend (believe it or not, he actually decreased the whiteness index when he left), but because of one UP’ite who landed on to the brackish water at Marina beach. Although he belongs to the badlands of Gorakhpur (remember the movies Sehar, Ishqia), but he considers himself to be directly descendant from US of A. The only thing going in his favor is his highly unusual fair color, especially for a male species.

So here he is jostling with the auto drivers and the idli-sambhar-rasham combo. Poor fella.

The Maratha Warrior

“Are you from UP?” The auto-driver asks Exzact, who was readying himself for another day at his Worli office.

“What!!” was my friend’s initial reaction to this harmless query.

“Arey Bhau, I am asking it, because you look like you are from UP”, says the auto driver.

“No, I’m not”, was the terse reply.

“You see sir; people from outside Mumbai are coming and filling all the vacant places. Local trains, cinema halls, malls, parks, driveways, footpaths, tea-stalls, now they have even started occupying the auto stands”, was the fair assessment of the simpleton from Maratha land.

My friend was left speechless. Seeing so much wisdom, so much insight, in a common man (actually common man of Congress), he could not utter a single word.

On the other hand, seeing no response, the Einstein driving the auto continued his highly insightful sermon.

Flabbergasted, as my friend was, at his own inefficiencies and the other fella's wisdom, he decided to take another auto.

At another place in the same city, a little kid has got his SLR professional camera. So he clicks, whatever comes his way and posts on FB. I must admit, though not so gladly that slowly he is improving and now some of his clicks actually make sense. I hate to admit, but now I also appreciate some of his works.

As for me, I am relaxing in my dingy room at IIMB. Wasn’t IIMB a better college (or shall I say MBA institution)? Then by that corollary, aren’t the room supposed to be better. But, such is life. So, I try to fit in myself in the 3’ X 7’ room. Thinking of another day, some another assignment at the office.

Theirs not to reason why

I first heard these lines, while I was watching some hollywood movie. Immediately the phrases spellbound me with its brilliance. So armed with the power of Google Baba I did a few clicks, some type here, some type there and here it was. I was so much enthralled by the prose that I decided to publish it in my blog.

The concerned poem has been written by Alfred, Lord Tennyson in the year 1854. He titled it "The Charge of the Light Brigade".It is about the Charge of the Light Brigade at the Battle of Balaclava during the Crimean War.

To appreciate it, one has to look into the context in which Lord wrote these lines.

The soldiers knew that there is only death in charging ahead and fighting, but still they don't question and follow their commander. Why? Why were these 600 men so motivated? Was it courage? Yes, courage it was, but courage can only take them to the battle-field, it cannot equip them with the aggression and rage, which propelled them to face the cannons.

So what was it then?

In true sense it was Honour; honour in serving one's land, honour in fighting alongside their batallion, honour of not questioning their commandant.

Honour of Dying in a battlefield...

Half a league half a league,

Half a league onward,

All in the valley of Death

Rode the six hundred:

'Forward, the Light Brigade!

Charge for the guns' he said:

Into the valley of Death

Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'

Was there a man dismay'd ?

Not tho' the soldier knew

Some one had blunder'd:

Theirs not to make reply,

Theirs not to reason why,

Theirs but to do & die,

Into the valley of Death

Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,

Cannon to left of them,

Cannon in front of them

Volley'd & thunder'd;

Storm'd at with shot and shell,

Boldly they rode and well,

Into the jaws of Death,

Into the mouth of Hell

Rode the six hundred.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,

Flash'd as they turn'd in air

Sabring the gunners there,

Charging an army while

All the world wonder'd:

Plunged in the battery-smoke

Right thro' the line they broke;

Cossack & Russian

Reel'd from the sabre-stroke,

Shatter'd & sunder'd.

Then they rode back, but not

Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,

Cannon to left of them,

Cannon behind them

Volley'd and thunder'd;

Storm'd at with shot and shell,

While horse & hero fell,

They that had fought so well

Came thro' the jaws of Death,

Back from the mouth of Hell,

All that was left of them,

Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?

O the wild charge they made!

All the world wonder'd.

Honour the charge they made!

Honour the Light Brigade,

Noble six hundred!

Note: I don't know if I am doing some copyright violations by republishing these poem. As I am not aiming to make any profits from it, so I guess my intentions are right. I can be in peace.

Still if someone thinks it is a copyright violation, then just leave a valid comment and I will remove the post.